Healing Through Balance, Not Burnout
Healing is not about stopping everything or forcing yourself to rest all the time — it’s about learning how to shift your focus in a way that supports deep, sustainable recovery. Many people with chronic illness unknowingly push themselves into cycles of burnout and crashes, constantly searching for the one thing that will make everything fall into place. But true healing doesn’t come from doing more — it comes from redirecting your energy toward what truly nourishes your nervous system, mind, and spirit.
Pause here and take a deep breath. Hold it for the count of 1,2,3 seconds. Then release it all at once with a sighing sound to signal safety to your nervous system.
This article is about refining your approach to healing so that you can avoid the exhaustion of over-efforting. We’ll explore how to shift your attention and look at how to create a sense of ease, flow, and joy — things that are active without reinforcing stress. Whether you are in a phase of deep emotional integration late in the recovery journey or just beginning to expand your capacity, there are many ways to engage with healing that match where you are right now.
By making small shifts in focus, you can create a healing rhythm that supports resilience rather than burnout — one that allows your brain and body to rewire for ease instead of urgency. Let’s explore how to make that shift together.
We live in a world that glorifies action, productivity, and constant problem-solving. When faced with a challenge — especially one as overwhelming as chronic illness — our instinct is often to do more, try harder, and search endlessly for the missing piece. But sometimes, the very effort to fix becomes another source of stress.
We can call it “Push” Culture or “Go, go, go” or I sometimes think of it as “Doingness” Culture – the belief that healing, like everything else, must be earned through effort.
This reminds me of a moment in a wonderful book:
Alice in Wonderland
“Don’t just stand there, DO something! Go, go!”
This is a quotation from the white rabbit, on the way to the Mad Hatter’s tea party in Alice in Wonderland – a chaotic, nonsensical scene where everyone is rushing about in a frenzy.
It perfectly reflects the pressure we feel to be in motion, to be doing rather than being. But what if this healing journey is inviting us to swap this around?
“Don’t just DO something, stand there!”
At first, this idea might sound unsettling. Just stand there?
That doesn’t sound (or feel) like progress. But pausing for a moment isn’t the same as doing nothing — it’s an intentional act of creating space to check in, to create safety, to see if we are even moving in the right direction.
We don’t want to find ourselves with the urgency in the nervous system that happens automatically in a hurried state. The white rabbit is the one who gave us the “Go, go” concept to begin with in the 1951 film… but with a chronic health condition, things feel much more urgent than something so light as a story about not being late to a tea party.
From Urgency to Safety
When we are in this survival mode and unable to switch it off, it doesn’t just feel like being late – it begins to feel like life or death. For those with chronic illness, the body is often locked in a state of hypervigilance, where everything feels urgent, and slowing down seems impossible. The nervous system isn’t making a conscious choice to rush, or search, or be in stress — it’s reacting to an internal sense of danger that has been wired into survival patterns over time.
This isn’t something we can simply think our way out of. The nervous system and brain need support to make this shift. Somatic healing is one of the ways that help retrain the body to feel safe, creating moments where we can pause without triggering fear. When we begin to experience moments of safety — even in the smallest ways — we allow the mindbody system to access its natural ability to restore balance.
You're not Being Chased by a Tiger
One of the most powerful illustrations of this comes from Dr. Levine, who developed somatic healing.
He began to notice that his patients were stuck in survival mode. In one pivotal session, he helped a client break free from this trapped state in a way that changed how we understand the chronic illness healing process today.
During one of their sessions, Nancy suddenly froze, reliving the terror of a past event in her life. In that critical moment, Dr. Levine had an intuitive vision and told her:
“Nancy, you’re being chased by a tiger. Run! Run for the nearest tree!”
Amazingly, Nancy responded by coming out of her frozen state and then going through a series of healing processes, and was able to somatically release some of the stored buried stressors in her system, with the support of Levine. It was an amazing step forward for Nancy. And an amazing step forward for our understanding of how to heal.
This illustrates something profound: healing isn’t just about doing — it’s about responding to what the body, the mind and nervous system actually need. Sometimes, that means taking action, and other times, it means a willingness to pause and to recognise what is happening, and then look to how we can create moments of safety.
How to Make Progress
The “Doingness” approach to healing keeps us searching, adding, and pushing, thinking that if we just find the right method, we can push through into recovery. We want to “do” the stuff to “get better” – it feels familiar and therefore comforting to be proactive.
And many of the things we do — wake-up affirmations, breathwork, movement, journaling — are beautiful tools. But when healing turns into a to-do list, when it becomes something we are trying to achieve rather than allow, we risk reinforcing the very stress patterns that keep symptoms active.
The truth is, you can’t push through into healing. It’s time to change the pattern and create new conditions for healing to unfold.
Schubiner's Five F's: A Powerful Mindset Shift
I’ve spent years studying the leading voices in mindbody healing — each offers valuable insights, and yet, none fully capture everything I’ve come to understand. While I deeply appreciate the work of pioneers like Dr. Howard Schubiner, I don’t believe cognitive work alone is enough.
That said, Schubiner’s Five F’s offer a powerful way to recognise how certain mindsets and habits can keep the nervous system stuck in survival mode. He identifies five common patterns — Fear, Focus, Fixing, Frustration, and Fighting — that often feel like necessary steps toward recovery but actually reinforce the stress response.
By noticing these patterns, you can begin to shift away from urgency and into trust, allowing healing to unfold naturally rather than trying to force it.
Fear
When symptoms arise, fear often follows:
- What if this never goes away?
- What if I’m getting worse?
- What if I never heal?
These fears are completely understandable, but they keep the brain in survival mode, reinforcing the neural pathways of pain and dysregulation. Healing happens when we shift away from fear and towards safety.
Focus
It’s natural to monitor symptoms closely, especially when they dictate daily life. But the more attention we give them, the more deeply they become wired into the brain.
💡 Try this shift: Instead of scanning for symptoms, ask yourself: What else can I focus on right now? Music, nature, or meditations made especially to help this can all redirect the brain’s attention toward something nourishing.
Fixing
The mind wants certainty. It wants a plan. It wants a guarantee. But trying to fix symptoms often reinforces the belief that something is “wrong” — which only signals more danger to the nervous system.
Frustration
Healing from a chronic condition isn’t linear, and it can feel discouraging. But frustration itself triggers more stress, which reinforces symptoms.
💡 Try this shift: Create and celebrate small moments of ease.
Fighting
Fighting against symptoms — resenting them, resisting them, trying to “win” over them — only strengthens them.
If you find yourself caught in one of these patterns—fear, fixation, frustration—it’s okay. This isn’t about getting it perfect. It’s about noticing, pausing, and gently choosing a new path.
Amari's Perspective: A warm personal reflection
I know how easy it is to get caught in the cycle of constantly searching, refining, and adding more to your healing routine. I’ve been there too — believing that if I just found the perfect method, did it perfectly, discovered the missing piece, everything would fall into place.
But the truth is, healing isn’t about collecting more strategies — it’s about creating the right conditions for your body and mind to rewire. And sometimes, that means pausing for a moment.
This doesn’t mean stopping everything. It doesn’t mean ignoring tools that help or letting go of the practices that bring you comfort. It means shifting the focus from fixing to allowing, from urgency to trust.
You don’t have to carry the entire weight of healing on your shoulders. Your brain and body are already wired to restore themselves — but they need space for the process to unfold, and support along the journey.
If you feel overwhelmed, take a breath. You are not failing. This is a journey, and every small shift — every choice to step back from stress — matters.
Be kind to yourself. There is nothing you need to fix right now.
The Cultural Pressure
We live in a world that worships effort and achievement. From the time we are young, we are taught that more is always better — more productivity, more progress, more solutions. The underlying message? If we’re not constantly improving ourselves, we are somehow failing.
The entire messaging from the culture is pressure; after all we have all been told since we were small: “No pain, no gain.”
This belief has seeped into our approach to healing. So it can be difficult to change our entire attitude and approach. But I want to reassure you that it is totally possible, and this is what rewiring the brain and nervous system is all about.
This journey is about stepping out of stress and into trust. You don’t have to figure it all out at once, but choosing to shift your focus, release unhelpful habits, and gently guide your brain toward a new mindset makes a difference. There is nothing to prove. There is no perfect way to heal. You are already moving forward, simply by being here.
Next Steps: Where to Go From Here
💡 Want to explore more?
You’ll find meditations, somatic practices, and resources throughout this site to support your healing journey. Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and trust that you are already moving forward.
💗 Whenever you’re ready, I’m here to support you. And until then… I’m glad you’re here.
✨ Explore more resources: Visit the Resources section for more articles and somatic practices, book summaries and reflections on mindbody healing.
✨ Try a guided practice: If you’d like to experience a shift in real-time, my EFT practice for reducing fear and anxiety on the blog is a great place to start.
💗 Book a session: If this resonates but feels overwhelming to navigate alone, I’d love to support you. You don’t have to figure this out on your own. Learn more about my one-to-one sessions and how we can work together.
