The Fight to Survive
For most of my life, I was a fighter.
I had “beaten” cancer. I had endured pain others couldn’t see. I pushed through, carried on, rose above it all. I wore my strength like armour — and it worked… until it didn’t.
So when the chronic fatigue, chronic pain, digestive issues, fibromyalgia and more turned into LongCovid, I did what I’d always done: I fought. I pushed. I tried to win. But this time, my body had other plans. The more I resisted, the worse I became. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t “power through” this one.
If someone had told me back then to stop fighting, I would have thought they were mad. I would have thought that was giving up, staying sick forever… it just didn’t make sense!
But in the end, it wasn’t advice that changed me — it was having no choice. My body and mind gave out. There was no fighting it anymore. It was surrender – a surrender I didn’t choose… until I had to.
And that’s when something shifted.
A Surprising Pathway to Nervous System Healing
When we begin to practice acceptance — when we stop bracing, pushing, or urgently trying to “fix” what’s wrong — something subtle but profound begins to happen in the nervous system. This softening signals that the emergency is over.
Instead of remaining stuck in sympathetic overdrive (fight-or-flight), the system begins to shift toward parasympathetic dominance — the state of rest, repair, and regeneration. This change doesn’t require a dramatic intervention.
It can start with a single breath, with a gentle awareness of how we’re feeling, or a willingness to say,
“This is where I am right now, and I choose to meet it with kindness.”
The Science Behind This
Scientific research supports this ability to shift the nervous system state. A 2016 study published in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience found that mindfulness-based practices — particularly those that cultivate acceptance and non-judgmental awareness — are associated with increased parasympathetic activity and improved emotion regulation. The study concluded that this kind of gentle, non-reactive awareness may help people move out of chronic stress responses and into greater autonomic balance, which is essential for healing from chronic conditions.
If you would like to and academic reading is within your window of tolerance, you can read the study here
The research suggests that practices of soft presence may help people move out of chronic stress responses and into greater autonomic balance — a crucial piece in healing from chronic illness.
A Zen Monk and a Gentle Teaching
Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh teaches that pain isn’t something to conquer. It’s something to meet with presence.
I didn’t know these teachings back then, but since recovering I have been able to read and understand so much more of what was really happening beneath the symptoms and pain…
Thich Nhat Hanh’s gentle teaching isn’t about giving up. It’s about turning toward what is here — not with resistance, but with care and compassion. When we soften toward our experience, when we say to the pain or the exhaustion, “I see you. I’m here,” a quiet transformation begins.
Through this approach, the mind can begin to settle, the nervous system begins to recalibrate. What is overwhelming begins to feel just a little more held — like a weary child being gathered into loving arms.
And in that spaciousness, we begin to notice the small joys: sunlight through a curtain, the warmth of a cup of tea, the sound of birdsong. These aren’t distractions. They’re reminders that peace and pain often exist together in the moment.
Moments of happiness don’t have to wait for the struggle to end. They can begin now, in the softest, most unexpected ways.
A 5 minute Practice: Holding Tenderness, Inviting Peace
You can do this practice lying down or sitting with support. There’s no need to get it right — just show up as you are.
- Place one hand over your heart. Let yourself settle, and allow your breath to be however it is.
- On the inhale, silently say to yourself: “I know you are there, my pain.”
- On the exhale: “I am here to care for you.”
- Let these words guide you gently for a few breaths.
- Now shift your attention softly to something soothing — perhaps the feeling of your hand, the rhythm of your breath, or a sound in the room.
- Stay here for a few more moments. Let peace and pain be held together in your awareness, side by side.
You can return to this practice whenever you feel overwhelmed. It’s a quiet way of saying: I’m still here, and I’m learning how to stay with myself.
Integration & Next Steps
Take a moment now to rest your hand on your heart and thank yourself — for pausing, for noticing, for simply being here. That alone is an act of healing.
This journey doesn’t require urgency or pressure. It unfolds breath by breath, choice by choice. Even this small moment of connection matters.
If something in this post has resonated with you, here are a few gentle ways to continue:
💗 Explore Book Summaries for Deeper Understanding
In the Resources section of this website, you’ll find book summaries on teachers like Thich Nhat Hanh, Ekhart Tolle and Gabor Maté. These are lovingly written with my own reflections, to help you deepen your understanding of emotional, physical and mindbody healing.
💗 Try a Guided Healing Practice
Visit the Guided Somatic Exercises in my Blog to explore gentle somatic healing practices designed for chronic illness recovery. You can begin with just a few minutes a day.
💗 Book a Session When You’re Ready
If you’d like to be guided through this healing process, I offer Mind Body Spirit Coaching and Emotional Healing Sessions. You don’t have to do this alone — I would be honoured to walk with you.
You don’t have to do it all. Just follow what feels most nourishing. Let that be enough.
With warmth and presence,
Amari 💗
