Ending the Feeling of Being Stuck
Recovering from chronic illness isn’t about doing less, and it certainly isn’t about resting all the time — it’s about changing how we engage with energy. Many of us have been told by doctors to rest more, to do nothing, to lie in dark rooms and wait for the body to heal itself. They also let us know that when we aren’t resting, we must “pace” and restrict ourselves in a way that keeps life small and energy tightly controlled. But true recovery requires a different approach, a way of restoring rhythm and balance to our nervous system and brain, a way of changing our relationship to energy.
Energy Cycling is a healthy, proactive approach to the healing journey that is extremely effective. Human beings are designed to move between activity and restoration, between using energy and allowing it to replenish. When we stay stuck in a state of forced stillness, our systems remain in survival mode — either hyper-alert or completely shut down.
Using energy cycling is about breaking that cycle — it is about connecting a rhythm of activity and truly restorative, structured resting in a way that works to allow expansion. Life begins to unfold into a positive spiral and rest becomes restorative once more – so how to make rests become truly restorative?
What are Structured Rests
Structured Rests are intentional pauses woven into your day to create true restoration, rather than passive rest that leaves you feeling drained. These are not simply moments of inactivity but purposeful, nervous-system-friendly resets that gently signal safety to your body and mind.
Unlike traditional rest — which can feel frustrating or even make symptoms worse — Structured Rests work with your nervous system and brain neuroplasticity rather than against it. By engaging your awareness in a soothing way, they help the brain rewire its response to energy use, allowing your system to move out of survival mode and into a state of calm, recovery, and ease.
Why add structured rests?
I know how hard it can be to make yourself pause — especially on “good days” when energy feels more available, and you want to get things done. But skipping restorative moments can actually slow down long-term progress.
Structured Rests aren’t about stopping life — they are about re-training your system to handle energy in a sustainable way. By integrating them into your day, you support nervous system rewiring, encourage energy cycling, and help your ANS trust that slowing down is safe.
These pauses are especially important if any of these are true for you:
✔ You find that rest doesn’t feel like relief.
✔ You experience energy crashes or flare-ups.
✔ You feel guilty when resting, or struggle to fully let go.
✔ You feel wired or restless.
✔ You feel numb or shut-down.
By creating a consistent rhythm of expanding activities combined with true restoration, we support not just energy recovery but deep nervous system healing, helping you move beyond survival patterns and into a life that feels truly sustainable and nourishing.
Why Traditional Rest Feels Exhausting (And How to Change It)
Have you ever taken a break, expecting to feel better, only to end up feeling even more exhausted? Maybe you lie down to rest, but instead of relief, you feel more drained, restless, or even in more pain. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
For many people—especially those living with chronic illness—rest doesn’t feel restorative the way it should. In fact, it can feel frustrating, like you’re doing it wrong. But the truth is, it’s not your fault. Your body is simply following a pattern it has learned over time.
So why does rest sometimes feel worse instead of better? And how can you change that? Let’s explore.
How Can I be Drained Instead of Restored?
Most people believe that if you’re tired, resting will automatically make you feel better. But if your nervous system is stuck in a state of stress or hypervigilance, it doesn’t recognize rest as safe. Instead, your body remains tense, alert, or shut down in a way that isn’t truly restorative.
This happens when your system is caught in one or more of the following survival responses:
✔ Fight: Even in stillness, your system is tense—muscles braced, mind racing, body expecting the next stressor.
✔ Flight: A deep restlessness keeps you feeling like you should be “doing” something instead of slowing down.
✔ Freeze: You feel exhausted and numb, but rather than feeling refreshed after resting, you remain shut down.
✔ Fawn: Resting brings up guilt, anxiety, or an urge to ‘earn’ your recovery, making it difficult to fully let go.
💗 If this sounds familiar, it’s not because you’re bad at resting. Your system simply hasn’t yet learned how to experience rest as safe and nourishing.
Why Passive Rest Isn’t Enough
Most people think of rest as simply stopping activity. But for someone whose nervous system is dysregulated, passive rest can actually increase discomfort. The mind starts racing, the body feels more pain, and emotions surface in a way that makes rest feel unbearable.
This is why many people say:
❌ “I feel worse when I stop.”
❌ “I don’t know how to rest.”
❌ “Resting feels like a waste of time.”
💗 But rest doesn’t have to feel this way. The key isn’t just stopping—it’s engaging the mind gently in a way that creates safety.
The Key to Restorative Rest: Focus
For rest to feel soothing instead of frustrating, it helps to give your nervous system and brain a focus — something that gently engages your awareness rather than leaving your mind to spiral. This allows your system to settle into ease instead of staying on high alert.
✔ Guided Meditations: A calming voice provides gentle structure, making it easier to let go.
✔ Nature Sounds: Waves, rainfall, or wind help mirror the body’s natural rhythms, promoting safety.
✔ Soft Instrumental Music or Brown Noise: These create a background of comfort, quieting internal chatter.
✔ Breath Awareness: Focusing on gentle breathing gives the mind something subtle yet grounding to rest on.
How to Make Structured Rests Work for You
If traditional rest hasn’t felt restorative for you, consider this:
🌿 Start small. If long rest periods feel impossible, try 1, 2 or 5 minutes of structured rest with a gentle focus.
🌿 Use sound or guided support. Don’t expect yourself to rest in silence – it can create more stress internally.
🌿 Begin to create a routine. Your body learns through repetition, so practicing Structured Rests regularly makes it easier over time.
🌿 Be kind to yourself. If it’s difficult to get into a habit of doing this, it’s okay and totally natural. Your system is learning, and each small step along the way is a step toward healing.
💡 Try This Today: Choose to do a small structured rest — a gentle guided meditation, or listening to nature sounds, or closing your eyes and listening to gentle music for a few minutes. Notice what shifts.
You will be able to create a recovery rhythm that nurtures you.
Your Body Deserves This Kindness
🌸 Structured Rests are not about “doing nothing” but about offering yourself intentional moments of ease. These small, nourishing pauses teach your system that truly restorative moments of rest are not a threat — they are a gift that you give to yourself.
💖 Healing happens in these quiet moments of care. If you’d like to explore how to create a recovery rhythm that supports you, I’d love to walk with you on this journey. Explore a first session here →
With warmth and care,
Amari 💗
